Real Eyes

I was an only child.

While I was growing up, I was constantly surrounded by adults and consistantly bombarded with adult vernacular that would later be ingrained 'till this very day. I was always surrounded by politicians, (because my mom volunteered with a lot of good ones), family members were always much older, (with the exception of the KC cousins ) ...

When I was in 1st grade, I was reading at 7th grade level. In elementary school, I used to read the dictionary for fun. In 6th grade I had the option of taking AP English, but turned it down because I didn't want to be peer ridiculed - thus beginning the 10 year span of hiding my true self. 80% of our learning comes from outside of school surroundings.

I think the lexicon I was subconsciously being taught is why I failed so terribly at math, while I excelled in English and the arts.

It has also been of the subconsious mind to build a barrier of ego, as a defense mechanism for being attacked, or the perception of being wrong in any way, shape, or form.

I defended myself not with physical prowess, but of verbal dexterity. I had the mind to do it. There were always times where I had to fight with my fists, living in a not so great area of town, but it was much more engaging, to me, to do it with my mind.

I had a rather lengthy discussion with a friend of mine the other night night. Just like the military teaches a person to kill, but not to shut it off - I've learned to learn, but haven't been able to shut it off - ruining friendships along the way ...

If being me, the way I was raised and the way that I've learned, has a detrimental affect on the people around me, so be it - that's not for me to decide. People are free to make up their own minds about what their perception consists of. To me, if everything I've learned is not to be expressed, it has all been for naught ...

"Curb yourself, because now isn't the time."

In my cognitive philsophical thought process, there is no right, nor wrong time to express knowledge - it is the present time ...

I've never claimed that I was smarter than anyone else - there is always someone that knows something that another person does not - being smart bears no semblance on the true self, therefore nulling anyone that says they are smarter than anyone else ...

It is a pre-conceived notion, however, because I like to talk, (sometimes too much), that I am automatically smarter than anyone that I come across because I happen to know things that others sometimes do not - and to that notion, I take great offence ...

There will always be something that someone else knows that you do not ... therefore, being "smarter" than someone is a fallacy ...

Just as a person doesn't wish to be corrected on something, it is just as injurious to tell someone that their knowledge is not needed ...

The search has commensed to find a new plug for a knowledge outlet ...


Respect is taken, when respect is given ...

Namaste and Slainte