I've spent 15 years of study in philosophy, sociology and psychology. Truth be told, many of our problems that we have with people, in general, could be solved if we were to just take a step back. (As always, these are just my opinions expressed through my own experiences.)
Here, within this blog, lies the parable of people.
It's Ok to take a step back and say, "So what".
Continuing to interact with someone that brings you pain, displeasure, misery, and every other synonym will only bring you the same in return. Misery begets misery, and that's as blunt as I can tell it.
Ignorance is bliss to most people who intentionally bring pain to someone. However, ignoring the 'painbringer' all together is the greatest weapon we wield. Out of sight, out of mind. Even when children are involved. As gruff as the subject of children is to most people, we all hope that we could instill in them some kind of moral grounding that they in turn won't turn out to be a 'painbringer'. If for whatever reason the child goes to live with the 'painbringer', don't fret, because there is still the notion of talking to them in the future, and discussing life.
Sometimes, the hardest thing for a person to do is walk away from the ones they love, or think they love, the most. Love can sometimes be the greatest inhibitor of letting things go.
Ignoring the 'painbringer', and concentrating on a specific issue will bring about fair trade, if one so wishes. The training of the mind is a long and difficult process, but once achieved it is the greatest accomplishment one could ever hope to have – who wouldn't want a mind of clear thought and free thinking?
"Most of our cognitive thoughts are random and are thus subjected to the Chaos Theory. Even the smallest variations or deviations from our initial line of thought will inevitably produce an altered conclusion than our initial thought. This variance is called the Butterfly Effect." – Edward Lorenz-
A metaphor I've used before goes something like this: If someone has been burned in the fires of life, they have a chance to heal. We can't heal them directly; they have to want to themselves. We can only offer salves, (opinions), and ointments (viewpoints), but ultimately if the person who was burned doesn't want to be helped, then it is no longer in our hands.
A cognitive way of thinking can alleviate whatever ill-mannered thoughts are racing through one's mind in the present state, not because of something that happened in the past - you can't change the past, but you can shape the future. You either do something or you don't, and by doing or not doing, so one freely accepts any and all consequences, without thinking beforehand what those consequences are. Every action has its own reaction, and in turn, we react to reactions. We take those consequences as they come, not before they get here – otherwise nothing is accomplished.
1) A helping hand gets bitten; it in turn, begets pain, begets misery, begets depression, begets ill health, and begets a life long in discomfort. In this instance, it isn't healthy to keep going in a cyclical state of misery – this is the time to let everything pertaining to this particular subject lay to rest.
2) A helping hand is received through a need to want to change; it in turn, begets happiness, and begets a more meaningful life. In this instance, it is ok to want to continue to help.
And we always have a choice of stepping back and saying "Forget it, and forget you." Just walk away, because inevitably nothing is going to be accomplished by flogging an already dead horse.
The biggest rut we can leave ourselves in, is not knowing when to let an issue go.
Respect is taken, when respect is given ...
Namaste and Slainte